
If you are like most of us, you enjoy showing off a nice formal table setting when hosting parties. You sweat at the thought of (gasp) placing utensils and goblets incorrectly! I personally am filled with visions of Mr. Carson (the head butler from Downton Abbey) wearing white gloves, eyes filled with judgment as he gives my imaginary table the once-over.

source: www.pinterest.com
Oh Mama!
For the first ten years of my marriage, I’d ask my mom to come over with her magic suitcase filled with starched Irish lace tablecloths, Christofle and Tiffany cutlery. It was the Santa’s Sack of the Tableware World. The sterling silver serving spoons from eras past that she had accumulated over the years as an antique shop owner in New York would proudly come out one by one. The fine linens, each with a name and story, would be ironed and re-ironed to eliminate the creases that bothered her and that neither I nor other art de la table virgins would notice. I’m clearly not as picky as her. I watched in awe (and self-doubt) as she would painstakingly place the salad fork, main fork, dessert fork, dessert spoons, etc. in their allotted places. Don’t even get me started on the crystal wine and water glasses lined up strategically like a general planning a battlefield.

The Extras
My detail oriented, antique obsessed mother would even go to great lengths placing salt and pepper shakers at each end of the table–God forbid someone reach far to get their spices! Silver finger-sized candy bowls would be placed between every two settings so guests could reach for a pastel colored mint to change flavors between courses. Are you getting the picture? Thanks to my mom, my tables could rival those of the Dowager Duchess.

The Napkin Wars
A stickler for the golden age of propriety, my mom would carefully press each lace or linen napkin and arrange them either under the forks or on top of the salad plate. Being the practical soul that I am, I would carefully insert a paper napkin inside her linen one as many of my generation do. We leave the fabric one on the outside, but pray that thoughtful guests will set it aside and wipe their stain-inducing rouges and curries on the paper insert. Upon her final inspection, my mom would find these paper napkins, declare me a “commoner” and remove them. T’was I who would have the last laugh as I re-inserted them before the guests arrived.

Here, you can see one of my napkins snuck in last minute and still peeking out. (I hope my mom doesn’t read this.)
Centerpieces
The center of the table was not overlooked. Her rule was to place seasonal flowers low so that guests could still clearly see each other. Most often, she would bring me gorgeous buds from her expansive garden. Depending on the fanciness of the occasion, I sometimes brought a florist in to take over. One Christmas when inviting a bunch of super close friends (the kind you can act like a kid around), I set the table using toy trains. In lieu of place cards, I used small toys that resembled my friends’ personalities and that also doubled as give-aways. The motorcyclist got a small toy bike, the fashionista got a mini Barbie etc… This earned me a laugh from my mom accompanied by a comment that I will never grow up.

Fun Christmas Dinner (above)
Showing off
With time as I received compliments and praise over my fancy table settings, I appreciated this fine cutlery and porcelain dance. I realized that taking the extra time to add the bells and whistles goes a long way towards making guests feel welcome and separates your tables from the rest. So read on and channel your inner Carson.
How To
Fret no more. Although there is no exact science behind a table setting (so don’t freak out if your table doesn’t have an escargot tong) there are some general guidelines that you can follow. Source: Architectural Digest Online (Source link below)
How to Set a Table for an Everyday Dinner
- Lay out a place mat, if you’re using one.
- Place the dinner plate in the center of the table setting.
- The fork is placed to the left of the plate.
- Place the knife to the right of the dinner plate and then set the spoon to the right of the knife.
- Set the water glass in the top right corner, above the knife.
- The napkin can be placed on top of the dinner plate or beneath the fork.
How to Set a Table for a Casual Meal
- Start by laying out a place mat.
- Set the dinner plate in the center of the table setting. If you’re serving salad, set the salad plate atop the dinner plate.
- Place the fork to the left of the dinner plate. If you’re serving salad, set the salad fork to the left of the dinner fork.
- Place the knife to the right of the dinner plate and then set the spoon to the right of the knife.
- Set the water glass in the top right corner, above the knife.
- Place the wineglass (either a red or a white wineglass, depending on what you’re serving) to the right of the water glass.
- The napkin can be placed on the plates or underneath the fork.

Casual Setting (Above)
How to Set a Table for Formal Events
- Begin by laying out a crisp tablecloth. Then place the dinner plate in the middle of the setting. (For a more traditional table setting, place a charger plate beneath the dinner plate.)
- Next, add the salad plate on top of the dinner plate.
- The bread plate should be placed above and to the left of the dinner and salad plate. The butter knife can be placed horizontally on the bread plate.
- The dinner fork goes to the left of the dinner plate and the salad fork goes to the left of the dinner fork.
- Place the knife to the right of the dinner plate and then set the spoon to the right of the knife.
- The dessert spoon should be placed horizontally above the dinner plate.
- Water and white and red wineglasses go in the upper right corner or the place setting. The water glass should be closest to the guest (since hopefully they drink more water than wine), and the red wineglass goes just behind the white wineglass.
- Fold the napkin (or use a chic napkin ring) and place it on top of the salad plate.
- Add a place card above the dessert spoon. Write the guest’s name on both sides so they can find their seat and the guests on the other side of the table will know who they are talking to.
- The coffee cup and saucer can be set below the glasses with the dessert course.
Source: https://www.architecturaldigest.com/story/how-to-set-a-dinner-table

Formal Setting (above) Photo Source: My mom Najwa Mawlawi

Formal Tea (above) Photo Source: My mom Najwa Mawlawi
Fancy Shmancy indeed! I hope you enjoyed reading this and look forward to posting new pictures with Zarina Tableware soon. Stay tuned!